That Moment

when the time came, i knew i was ready, THIS IS IT
nobody had to tell me when to push, how long and how hard
I just pushed, pushed, pushed harder than I could ever imagine was possible
I wouldn't stop because I knew THIS IS IT--
this is the moment I've been waiting for, nine long months of waiting
and so I pushed
and I felt the fire
and I was tearing and burning and I thought--
THIS IS IT, this is my ultimate limit, this is all I have--
but then I pushed a bit more
and then there you were, slipping, tumbling, falling into the world
falling out of me
(caught by capable hands)

and for a moment I felt empty, gaping

but then there you were,
squirming, pasty, warm, slippery and screaming
lying on my breast

SCREAMING
you were screaming like nothing I'd ever heard
my greatest moment of relief, of exaltation, of proud accomplishment
must have been the most terrifying moment of your young life.

and yet now, months later, you've adjusted to this outside world--
it's got so much more room for you to grow, to dream, to thrive.
you rarely scream anymore.
and we can look each other in the eyes.
in fact, we can't seem to get enough of it.

and now i find that the empty space you created inside of me,
your expanding body pushing it bigger and bigger week by week,
somehow,
you still fill it perfectly.

i watch you sleeping peacefully and I know
THIS IS IT.