Parenting, a play in three acts

Act one

M: Before you put on your swimsuit, let's go to the potty, just in case.

H: I don't have to! I don't like you. You're so mean!

Act two

Two minutes later, in the swimming pool...

H: I have to go potty.

Commencing drying and foot wiping for child to enter house

Act three

Two minutes later, child returns to swimming pool...

H: Nothing came out. Why are you laughing, Mommy?

Just can't win

M: You're having so much fun with Baby Brother's toys maybe we'll just get you baby toys for your birthday.

H: Really? That would be so great! I love baby toys!

The monkeys are running the zoo

M: H, did you know animals are coming to your school on Friday? 

H: Is there a person too?

Ninis

Pretty much since H has been able to talk and wanted to delay bedtime she has asked for 4 hugs, 4 kisses, and 4 high-fives. Pretty early on she realized that that was four of only three things and so she invented a fourth thing to have four of: "ni-nis." These pretty much consist of the adult looking in her eyes and saying "nini one nini two nini three nini four."

 Last night during her bedtime routine she says to me, "I just invented those right?"

Yes, H. You are the only little kid in the world who gets ninis before bed.

On strangers at the restaurant

"The people love my Elliot."

Bedtime song requests

In her ongoing efforts to delay bedtime, H has started requesting songs with very specific topics. Last night she wanted a song about the following:

Home

Lacrosse

Consequences

Crying

Tonight she added in 

Food

I can't wait to see what comes up tomorrow.

More wisdom from the backseat

H: my teacher said they make milk from billy goats! They just shake off their fur.

M: Um, no, H. I don't think that's right.

H: I mean, they cut off their fur.

Afternoons in the car

M: We're going to hang out with your cousins this weekend. Remember Liam, Sawyer, and Wyatt.

H: What's a Wyatt?

M: Wyatt is your cousin! He's Sawyers brother.

H: I love my cousins. They're my buddies! Only boys can be buddies, my teacher said.

Mornings in the car with H

When you eat your boogers they go in your mouth and come back out your nose. 

Is a crab meaner than a hamster?

Did you know that kangaroos can knock you down? Not baby ones because they're so little and cute. That's a pet that doesn't eat any food.

H on Civil Rights

H on Civil Rights
H: What is jury duty?
M: Well... [insert lengthy explanation tailored specifically to the understanding of a precocious 3 year old here]... So that's why we have jury duty.
H: [Shaking head] No. Only bad people go to jail. [After a thoughtful pause] Remember that lady who got put in jail by the two policemen?
M: You mean Rosa Parks? She wasn't bad, was she?
H: Yes she was! She didn't follow the rules.
M: Right, but the rules were bad. Just like you talked about at school. Sometimes it's ok to not follow the rules if they're not fair.
H: But she was still bad. She didn't wear her seatbelt! On May 09, 2016 at 06:59PM