The First Two Weeks

The Hospital

Our stay at the hospital lasted from Thursday at 4pm to Monday just after noon. Aside from Tommy's sleeping arrangements (see photo at left), it was pretty comfortable. In our Pavilion room (the last available single in the whole hospital), we ordered our meals off a real menu (the fruit plates were amazing and we had real tablecloths and napkins) and received outstanding nursing care. Since I had avoided an epidural, I was eager and able to do walks around the postpartum ward three times daily as recommended. The nurses laughed every time I passed their station and called me "the marathoner." Grandpa and Grandma Stone visited on Saturday, and were delighted to have a chance to hold their granddaughter for the first time.


Healthy Baby
Hope's only medical concern in the hospital was slightly elevated levels of bilirubin (a product of the breakdown of red blood cells in the liver) that can result in jaundice. She measured a 12 on the day of discharge, but after exposure to sunlight and lots of feedings and diapers at home, she dropped to a 9 two days later when we saw the pediatrician for the first time. After two weeks, she's nearly back to her birth weight, and she has a check up in two weeks to be sure she continues to gain. The pediatrician remarked that she is amazingly healthy, with strong limbs and a head so perfect she must have been a c-section!


Progress with Breastfeeding
We had some initial problems with breastfeeding that were eased somewhat when a lactation consultant gave us a plastic nipple shield and a pediatrician clipped Hope's frenulum (a small fold of tissue under the tongue that is inherited and restricts the tongue's movement). We were lucky that a doctor was available at the hospital to do this relatively painless procedure as there are very few in the Philadelphia area who do. Although we were nursing regularly upon leaving the hospital, latching on was still extremely painful for me and we attended a breastfeeding support group the day after being discharged. No other mothers showed up, so we had the lactation consultant's full attention, and she gave us tons of tips for pain relief, advice for the future, and confirmed that our latching and breastfeeding technique (jokingly dubbed "froggie-style" by the nursing staff at the hospital) is actually a new trend in the field. I'm planning to continue attending the breastfeeding support group weekly, and hope that many of the mothers who delivered in late May and early June decide to join me.

Adjusting to Life with a Newborn
We were so lucky to have my mom come stay with us for our first week at home. Upon arrival, she immediately went to work, cleaning up the kitchen, vacuuming the cat hair off the couch, starting the laundry, and beginning a string of delicious meals that would last us until even after her departure. Our neighbors brought lasagna and spinach dip in a thinly veiled attempt to spend as much time cuddling Hope as possible. They're in the early stages of starting a family, and we can't wait to see our little ones toddling around together in the courtyard. One of the side benefits of being induced 10 days before Hope's due date was that her Grandparents Barker were able to make the trip from Massachusetts to meet her before Grandma's scheduled surgery.

Week One
My only job that first week was to recover physically and make sure Hope was eating as much as possible. Tommy is in charge of diapering, swaddling, and calming Hope between feedings. This, combined with cheering me on through a few painful and exhausting nights of breastfeeding, have once again proven to me that I found the chose the perfect partner for this adventure. [Which reminds me--we're planning to celebrate our 3-year anniversary next week with a nice meal while Grandpa and Grandma Stone babysit.]

Week Two
Now in our second week, with Tommy back at work, Hope and I have settled into a little routine at home during the day, and between her naps and the Moby wrap given by a high school friend, I've been able to do laundry, cook some meals, and even do some household organizing. We take walks daily, and yesterday we headed to the zoo, where we've got an annual family membership. Although Hope slept through the whole trip, my legs were glad to get some exercise, and all the way through the exhibits I envisioned us making the same trip with her as a toddler.

 
Although I can't help myself fast-forwarding in my mind to all the delights that await us as she grows, I am striving simultaneously to be as present as possible in each of these moments of her earliest days. Her brilliant eyes seeking out the brightest light in every room, her contented sighs as she falls asleep, the hilarious faces and gestures she makes when she's feeding, and yes, even her blood-curdling screams while her diaper is being changed, all of these are treasures I'm storing up in my heart. I know I've only just begun, but so far, motherhood is pretty darn cool.

Hope's Journey to Our Arms

So, I went in for my weekly check up with the midwife at 2:45 on Thursday, May 31st. My blood pressure was 140 over 90 when read by the nurse, which is officially in the pregnancy danger zone. The 1st midwife (there will be a total of 4 in this story) re-checked me to be sure, and  it was 138 over 90. Although there was no protein in my urine (another sign of pre-eclampsia), she sent me to the hospital for a non-stress test and blood work to be safe. Thankfully, she advised me to eat first since she wasn't sure how long the testing would take. I had no idea in that moment that I would not be heading home that evening and definitely would not be heading to work the next day because a different kind of work was in store for me shortly.

I arrived at the PETU at Pennsylvania Hospital at 4pm. I was immediately hooked up to fetal heart monitors and a blood pressure machine that automatically checked it every 10 minutes. Both my blood and urine tests came back fine, but my blood pressure was still elevated. At 6:30pm, the 2nd midwife gave me two options: 1) go home today and complete a 24-hour urine test and come back in a day or two (probably to be induced) or 2) induce today. After talking it over with Tommy, we decided to reduce the danger to Boo and to get started on this exciting journey that we'd both been waiting so long for. Thankfully, the midwife advised me to eat before everything started, so Tommy ran down to the cafeteria before it closed and brought me a chicken salad and three sugar cookies (pickings were slim).

At 10:30pm, we were moved to a labor and delivery room, and Tommy went home to get a good night's sleep as the induction process was unlikely to produce results until the morning. After he left, Boo's heart rate dropped and the 3rd midwife explained that the chemical induction was now not advisable, so she'd be using a balloon catheter to start the dilation process. (If you want details here, I'd be happy to share but I'm sure not everyone reading shares your interest.) Literally 30 minutes after insertion, at 12:20, I was dilated to 3 centimeters, and it was time to start the pitocin. Poor Tommy got the call to come back as contractions were likely to start soon. Thank goodness he arrived quickly as a lady next door was having some serious problems with her delivery, and her screams could definitely have unsettled me had I been alone. At 5:15 I was able to sleep a bit, and although I was having contractions that were registering on the monitor, I wasn't able to feel them.

At 6:45am, the 3rd midwife confirmed that I had dilated to 4 cm (just 1 cm in the past 5 hours), and to speed up the process, she broke my water. We made it to 5 cm by 10:30, and I handled the weak contractions that started every 3 to 4 minutes by breathing deeply through them. By this point, the midwife had changed again, and ironically, my 1st midwife was on rotation at the hospital, so we worked with her throughout the day. I was actually excited to think that she would catch our baby as I had seen her often throughout the pregnancy, and she had started the whole process the day before.

As for our other birth support, as many of you know, we had arranged to have a doula assist through the active labor process. Unfortunately, it turned out that another client beat us to the punch, and she had to send us her back up. From the moment the new doula entered the room, I knew she would be a perfect labor coach for me. After introducing ourselves and discovering our similar musical tastes, we were laughing together between contractions. She arrived around 12, and I'm so glad she was there when I got the news at 1:15 that despite almost 3 hours of contractions, I was still at 5 cm dilation. Over the next 4 hours, she coached me through contractions that kept getting stronger until a check at 5:45pm revealed that I had progressed only 1 more cm. I won't lie, my resolve weakened as I realized that it would probably be a 4th midwife, coming on at 8pm, who would deliver my baby.

I don't have a great recording of what happened next because the contractions kept getting stronger and stronger. The trip from 5 cm to 8 cm was the most difficult, as fatigue started to set in and I started to doubt that I would be able to continue this process without pain medication. I sent Tommy out of the room at this point as I had no break between contractions and had to focus all my energy on breathing and trying to relax. It was during the transition phase that I came very close to giving up and really felt desperate. I had remained quietly breathing until this point, but eventually was unable to keep the screams inside as the contractions came stronger and faster and I felt myself falling behind. My doula kept me as focused as she could, though, and when the urges to push were overwhelming, I only had to wait a few minutes for the confirmation that I was indeed dilated fully and was one last stage away from seeing our baby. After laboring for most of the day, I could finally push!

We sent for Tommy at 10:42pm, and he grabbed my hands across the bed for support as I squatted and pushed and squeezed his hands HARD. The midwife caught her at 10:58pm, and passed her awkwardly up through my legs so I could put her on my chest immediately. She cried and cried at the injustice of it all, but even red and screaming and covered in vernix and blood, she was clearly the most beautiful, perfect baby that any two people have ever produced in the history of the world.

Now, after knowing her for two days, we can confirm that she is indeed the coolest, cutest baby ever.

Really Getting Ready!

We're about 5 weeks away, and the preparations have gone into overdrive at our house.

We completed a day-long childbirth class that included a tour of the labor and delivery rooms at Penn Hospital.

The bassinet is assembled and beside the bed.

The baby book is filled out up to the "Arrival" page.

The "Go" bag is packed.

The nursery is finished, with clothing and linens washed and stored. 

Aside from getting all this ready, Boo and I have had a busy last two weeks: Baby shower #1, night at the opera, Phillies Dollar Dog Night, baby shower #2.

And now this week we meet with the doula for our last pre-birth consultation, attend an evening "Babycare Basics" class, and plan to picnic in Fairmount Park with friends (a poor substitute for camping, but as close as I'm going to get with this big belly!).

Although it might not sound like it from this post, I am slowing down quite a bit. I'm only baking brownies once a week for the Fitz bake sale. I bought a pull-behind bag on wheels to relieve my back at work. Most nights I come home from work, change into jammies and then relax on the couch while Tommy makes dinner. I'm in bed and asleep before 8pm most evenings. Last night I slept 14 hours straight! (Interrupted of course by bathroom runs, heartburn, and Boo's dance parties.) We are officially ready anytime our little one decides to greet the great outdoors!

Nesting (Part 2)

We've passed the 6 month mark, and are taking big steps toward getting ready for our little one's arrival. We still have a lot to do, but we've crossed some things off our list...

• Reserved a doula (labor assistant) to be with us throughout the birthing process 
• Signed up for childbirth and baby basics classes (including a tour of the hospital where I'll deliver)
• Assembled a crib and a changing table and bought a big green rug for the nursery
• Accepted a large infusion of baby-related items from a high school friend (Thanks, Brandy!)
• Received a rocking chair passed down from Joanna's family and silver bib clips used in Tommy's
• Knitted the cutest cap in the world to keep her little head warm

People have been asking about our registry, and we welcome help to prepare a soft nest for our little Boo's entrance into this big world. I'm happy to announce that we're registered at Amazon and Babies R Us  (for those who prefer an in-store experience, but also available online).

Nesting

We've got a start on the nursery, as you can see from the pictures. Mom helped me attach the family tree decal that Tommy's parents got us for Christmas. Tommy and I assembled the crib and changing table in one weekend. The previous owner of the house helped by painting the room pale yellow. Now I'm working on compiling the registry, with lots of help from friends on Facebook. Well, I should say registries. We've got one on Amazon and one at Babies R Us for those who prefer an in-store experience. But I wonder, what did people do before the internet?

I've also started her baby book. I want to fill in all the info about pregnancy before she comes and I forget it all.

Almost Halfway There!

At our midwife appointment yesterday, Boo's heart sounded like a galloping horse! 143 beats per minute, and detected immediately, which was a big relief after last time when it took FOREVER to find the woosh-woosh sound. I'm also happy to report that my "uterus is exactly where it's supposed to be." What a relief,  Ms. Midwife, I was worried it might be migrating!

Monday will be 20 weeks, and last night I felt small kicks for the first time. I can't wait till Tommy can feel them too. It will also be amazing when Brie is lying on my stomach and feels it move from the inside. She's going to flip out.

I officially need to wear maternity pants, but thankfully many of my empire-waist dresses are functioning just fine to cover the bump. A generous donation of clothing from our friend Jen Lai is also saving us plenty on shirts and sweaters. There's one hooded wrap in particular that I love to cozy up in after the gym or just around the house.

With the kicks and my growing belly, I'm more aware of Boo's presence daily. I find myself talking to her any time we're alone. Nice to know she can hear me now.

Dude Looks Like a Lady!

So we had our second ultrasound this week. And finally the answer to the question we've been wondering for months. Turns out those 3 parallel lines the tech kept pointing our weren't some weird deformation on our baby but actually her LADY PARTS! 

Lots of friends had guessed what we were having, one even had a dream about it, but it took a long time for this new information to really sink in. I had to keep repeating it throughout the evening. "We're having a girl. We're going to have a daughter. The Dude is a girl." You get the idea. It just wasn't clicking.

Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against girls. It's just that I have so much more experience with boys. Five years teaching in an all-boys school and I like to think I learned a few things. Plus I just feel like there's so much less to worry about with boys, so much more to protect girls from. Maybe it's that growing up as a girl I know firsthand how hard it is to become a woman that you can be proud of. There are just so many... pressures. Quite frankly, when you think about them all, it's terrifying.

Add to that the fact that Tommy's just waiting to spoil her rotten. I've gotten a small glimpse of what this might look like given his special treatment of our rescue kitty Brie, and I just have a feeling I'm going to have to be the heavy.

But a few deep breaths and a few days later, I'm ready to accept the challenge. I'm reading up on raising girls right and interviewing all the parents of girls I know for tips and wisdom. I'm reflecting on all the AWESOME parts about being female, imagining all the special ways she might add to our family and even dreaming about how she might change the world. And I'm announcing happily to friends and family that The Dude is undergoing a name change to reflect her new reality. For the next 4.5 months, we're going to refer to the little one as Boo.

(Don't worry, we'll have a more permanent moniker ready by June. The website's going to keep its name, however. And she will most definitely wear the Dude shirt she was gifted for Christmas!)